Do Less

My body sent me a message yesterday that I read loud and clear; it was a plea to slow the fuck down on the drinking a bit. Immediately I was like "You're right, body, this is no bueno" but then I got to thinking: who the FUCK quits drinking during the summer? Gah. You drive a hard bargain, body, but I suppose you're right and I could slow down on the drinking and stop acting like its a race to see who leaves las vegas first.

So yeah. Less drinking. LOTS less.

Anywho, Ive noticed lately that I dream about masturbation a lot. Is that incredibly narcissistic of me? I dont even dream about having sex with another person anymore! Im not sure what to make of it, but I do know that I usually wake up frustrated and certainly not satisfied. Hmm. Life is fucking weird.

Ive been hanging out with an ex of mine a bit recently, and its a little strange talking about this here because I know he reads this blog (hi, Chris) but its definitely got me thinking differently about what it is I truly want in life right now. I know we've both been entertaining the idea of getting back together, but there is some serious hesitation on my part, and I cant fully figure out why. I mean, its been about 7 years since we last dated, but we still love each other and we still get along really well (there is always TONS of laughter when we hang out) being around him feels very comfortable and natural, and I know we have really great sex - so what the fuck is it that I DO want if not all of this? I dont know. Our break-up was pretty ugly and brutal on both of our parts, so that could definitely be playing a part. Part of me thinks Im a little too fucked up to be in a relationship at all right now.

Ah life is awesome. *sigh*

So the fourth of fucking July is coming up and this has me wanting to cook. Perhaps some beer braised short ribs are in motherfucking order? Last time I made them I said Id never make them again because of how labor intensive they are (they take 2 fucking days to cook!) but I've been craving them and it is a somewhat special occasion... Its a celebration, bitches.

This post is all over the place. I guess in summation: I dont know what the fuck I want in life (as per usual) but I do know that I should slow my drinking roll (as per usual) and that I want to cook (as per usual). So, basically there is nothing new going on here.

As you were.

xo