"These are the things I did in highschool..."

This survey was fun enough to fill out (for myspace) that I posted it here too:

1. Who was your best friend?
I had a number of "best friends". At Milwaukie High, my best friend was Alicia Wallace. We could be found together at all times basically anywhere other than on campus and certainly up to no good. At Pahrump Valley High (in Pahrump, Nevada, home of the Chicken Ranch!) I would say my best friend was Kristy Hagar, we definitely had a "crew" but Kristy and I spent the most time together.


2. What sports did you play?
Ha! Even if I ever had the desire to play sports, I never would have had the necessary grades to get into them. Although, I was on the Pahrump Bowling Team, if that counts.


3. What kind of car did you drive?
I didnt start driving until I was 20, and even then, with my drinking habits, it was very short lived.


4. It's Friday night, where were you at?
I think I treated every night as though it were a Friday night. Usually out with my cousin and friends, up to no good.


5. Were you a party animal?
In every sense of the word. High school was more of a place to meet other party animals, than anything else to me.


6. Were you a considered a flirt?
I don't think so. I was still very self-conscious about myself, and I think most people didnt believe me when I told them I was a virgin (and I was the entire time I was in high school). I think it was just assumed that since I was such a party animal, that I must be promiscuous too. It wasn't until after high school that I became a "flirt".


7. Did you ever skip school?
It was very rare for me to attend every class in one day.


8. Ever smoke?
Yes. I started smoking weed about half way through my freshman year, then (because freshman stoners are so smart) I heard that smoking a cigarette while high would increase my high, so I started smoking those too. At 14. I was a fucking genius.


9. Were you a nerd?
I wasn't smart enough to be a nerd. Or dedicated enough to actual school work.


10. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Yes, I was often suspended for skipping school (if that makes sense). I spent many a day in the Deans office. I was never expelled, though. Once, the vice principal of Pahrump High was standing behind me as I yelled at Levi for being a "fucking Nazi asshole" and when I turned around and saw him, he just quietly took me to his office and told me to never yell those things in school again. Everyone hated Levi.

11. Can you sing the Alma Mater?
What the shit is that?


12. Who was your favorite teacher?
Mr. Mosely. I had him my freshman Year for a "resource" class (basically a waste of an hour which is supposed to give you to opportunity to do homework and study for other classes, but we all would just sit around and hang out with "Mo"). I had him again my Junior year for American History and that was one of the only classes I made an effort to show up to and actually participate in.


13. Favorite class?
Favorite parts of classes: showing up to Biology high as a kite and dissecting things, then calling the teacher, Mr. Pemberton, "Pemby" (which he hated) and watching him turn all red under his glasses; Giving Mr. Hollybush shit until he'd send me to the Dean's office (some people can dish it out, but cant take it); changing all my (and my friends') grades in Mr. Owens' grade book while someone else distracted him (which wasn't hard to do), also making ceramic bongs in Mr. Owens' "art" class; and calling my asshole cousin, Richard Eaton, "Eatin Dick" in Algebra, which everyone in that class took a liking to, and joined in.


14. What was your school's full name?
Milwaukie High and Pahrump Valley High


15. School mascot? what about colors??
Milwaukie was the "Mustangs" (a.k.a "the butt stains") and Pahrump was the "Trojans" (we got in trouble for pinning condoms to our shirts during spirit week) and strangely enough, both schools had the same colors, maroon and gold.


16. Did you go to Prom?
No.


17. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
I dont think so. I have regrets, but Im getting to an age where all the bad shit has faded in my memory and when I look back, all I remember is having fun. I certainly had more than my fair share of fun.

18. What do you remember most about graduation?
I remember that I didnt graduate.


19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year?
I didnt have a Senior year. Two weeks before the end of my junior year my "counselor" called me into her office, and even though I had actually begun to make an effort and get good grades by that point, she advised me to drop out. She told me "High school just isn't for some people." She went on to tell me how smart she thought I was, and something about my lack of respect for the institution of high school, and recommended that I get my G.E.D and go straight to college. It sounded like an excellent idea at the time.


20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall?
What the fuck is a senior wall?


21. Did you have a job your senior year?
Yes. I worked during what was supposed to be my senior year (and have worked ever since). I had a menial office job at this shitty company my mom worked for at the time that manufactured vinyl pool liners. To this day I cannot stand the smell of vinyl.

23. Where did you go most often for lunch?
Most days at Milwaukie were a lunch break for me, so I was all over the place. Downtown Portland, various parks around Milwaukie, friends' houses, anywhere we could go to get high and/or drunk. In Milwaukie, I found that most of the people I thought were "cool" were never actually at school, but in Pahrump, there isnt anywhere else to go, so most of the kids I hung out with really went to lunch and then went back to school, and so I did too. And so usually we would just go to Burger King or Taco Bell or some shit like that. Sometimes Darka, Kristy, Lisa and I would drive out to "cake mix hill" to smoke ourselves silly, and that was cool too.

24. Have you gained weight since then?
Yeah. I've been told I look better though. I dont think anyone stays the weight, its all part of getting older, right?


25. What did you do after graduation?
Well, after I didnt graduate I joined the working class and continued what I thought was the legacy of my party animal persona, but ten years later have come to realize is not so much a "legacy" as a depressed and empty lifestyle full of endless greed, dead-end jobs and broken relationships. Im grateful to look back on it with fondness, as well as take away some serious lessons learned, from a place that may not look as exciting or fun from the outside, but is definitely more personally rewarding, healthy and stable.

Did that sound like a fucking infomercial for Serenity Lane? Jesus Christ! :)

xoxo