Conspiracy

Dear Conspiracy Theorists:

If you are reading this, your conspiracy theory is wrong. I can determine this with one simple fact: you are alive. So, please use the following formula to determine if your theory is correct:

alive = incorrect conspiracy theory. "A" for effort, though.

death by mysterious and uninvestigated suicide = correct conspiracy theory. Also, a lack of funeral for your family and friends, and/or the mysterious and uninvestigated suicides of anyone you may have shared your theory with, should be considered further proof that you were, indeed, correct. However, now you are dead.

It is understood that if you know something the government truly does not want you to know, they will kill you. If they do not think you are close enough to the truth, and allow you to live and spread your theory all over myspace, and/or make a movie and spread it all over the internet, then your theory is obviously incorrect.

The end.