Get Back to Work

I have three words to say about the I Love New York finale: What. The. Fuck?

Obviously, she should have picked Real. Or Chance. But definitely not Tango. Tango is creepy and, like Chance says, he looks like a damn ninja turtle. And I cant fucking handle the way he wears his hat. What a douche.

Anywho. My brother is turning 29 this Saturday and this reminds me: we are getting old. Ok, not old, but older. Lots older.
He and I were talking about it over the weekend, and we both agree that its pretty cool to be a bit older and wiser than we were in our younger years. It definitely is nice to move on from that phase in your life where you are a complete moron almost every day of the week and making ridiculous decisions on the regular. Its nice to slow down, think about shit and (at least attempt to) approach situations responsibly.
Some of us (me) are still paying (literally) for their stupid mistakes, and this helps to drive the point home: dont do that again. In hind sight, its actually kinda nice to have a few of those under my belt, knowing that its over and I am (hopefully) a little bit smarter because of it.

In matters of love, though (in a "big picture" sense), I feel like I am learning much slower than I had hoped. My brother and his wife have been married for 8 years already and that seems awesome and crazy to me. Time really does fly. I, on the other hand, have been noticing lately that I am more terrified by love than ever. It is kind-of unsettling to hand your heart over to someone else, hoping and trusting that they "be gentle". Maybe its like being afraid of heights: while being very high up in the air does pose a threat to your life should something go terribly wrong, you are usually otherwise safe and sound. And probably enjoying a great view (if only you could stop sweating profusely and fearing for your life). Maybe thats part of what makes it so cool and exciting. Maybe love is always a bit scary and I will never "grow" out of that.

Maybe I need to shut the hell up and get back to work.


Oh yeah.