Get Me Away From You!

I am officially done with apartment dwelling. I can stand no more.
Last night Pancho, the kitties and I were enjoying a pleasant 4th of July evening until our night was very rudely interrupted by the piercing sound of our buildings fire alarms. Pancho and I, being the false fire alarm veterans that we (unfortunately) are, calmly walked out on to our balcony and a woman below frantically yelled up to us "The building is on fire! The building is on fire! Could you go into apartment 301 and grab my cell phone?" Pancho and I looked at each other and then at her and Pancho (more calmly than I could have) explained to the lady that we needed to locate our cats and get out of the building. We went inside, located the cats and kind of looked at each other, both thinking, "Well, what else do we grab?" Frantically my thoughts raced to items we could not get by without and I was able to locate the box where we keep important documents, and miraculously, Pancho's resident card (green card) was tucked neatly where it should have been. I grabbed it and my purse, Pancho grabbed his wallet and our kitties (who where not enjoying the loud noises or the boxes they were in) and we headed outside.
We sat on the sidewalk, petting and calming our kitties as best as we could, and tried to get an idea of what was going on by observing the firemen. There was no smoke, nor the smell of fire, and there certainly werent many people outside. Finally, a fireman told us that some jackass had enclosed his balcony by putting up windows of some sort, then had the bright idea to try and barbecue in his enclosed balcony, setting off the sprinklers in his apartment and a few surrounding apartments. Apparently, there was some significant water damage on the floor, and the fire department was making sure the building was safe to re-enter. Before we learned of this, all I could think was "I am going to lose everything I own because some jack-ass kid was playing with fireworks." After we heard the real story, I was immediately relieved that there was no fire, then pissed again because the incident was indeed caused by some jack-ass kid living in my vicinity.
I can handle it no more. I hate these fucking retarded, drunk, loud, irresponsible kids; I hate the fact that I sometimes have to park 3 blocks away on the weekend because the fucking bar crowd is parked in front of my building; I hate the fact that the managers are incapable of hiring contractors to pressure wash the buildings that actually show up and work as scheduled, causing me to bring everything on my balcony inside every day only to come home and find that they - ONCE AGAIN! -havent shown up and I get to put everything back out and repeat the next day; I CANNOT FUCKING STAND our neighbors to the left who, being young college girls living in the "big city", cannot navigate a hallway without running and screaming and giggling.
Im ready for a house. Im ready to have walls that I do not share with anyone not living in the house with me. Im ready to have a yard which separates the place I live, sleep and relax from the rest of the world. Preferably with a fence. And a big intimidating dog. Im ready to watch TV at a reasonable level without competing with rush hour traffic noise. Im ready to live amongst drunk people who are only loud and who only "woooooo!" occasionally, on the weekend, like normal people. I am ready to have a big, charcoal barbecue, and Im ready to cook on it every goddam day if I want without anyone whining about "the smell". Well, if you didnt live IN MY ASS we wouldnt have that problem!

Too bad we recently signed a year lease.

*le sigh*

Its always somethin'