On tracks

I enjoy vacation mode much better than real-life mode. I prefer to relax and do whatever the hell I want all day and vacation really caters to that more than my job does. I have expectations at work - like you know, showing up and being productive and stuff. My dream job is to be independently wealthy by hitting the lottery or a crazy random inheritance. In reality, I will probably work for my entire life though I'll never TRULY like it.

I cant even take our Christmas tree down because once that happens, it is officially all over. I guess I should really give up the ghost and take it down anyway. As Garth would say, "LIVE IN THE NOW!"

I am worried about myself a little. Im going to be 27 in a few short months and I feel off track. Shouldnt I be more financially stable? Shouldnt I be more responsible? I dont know, I guess in the realm of 27-year-olds on this planet Im not doing SO bad. I guess Im just finally understanding that daunting approach to 30 that I've seen so many times but always reacted with a positive (and younger) attitude like, "30 isnt old! You are still so young!"

I get it now. Here comes 30, time for re-evaluation.

I read somewhere that a lot of boys go through this phase of realization that they really are never gonna go pro at any sport when they hit a certain age. While it may be awful, I think that the idea of that is kind of funny and a great example of how growing up can definitely consist of a series of disappointing revelations. It all begins with Santa Clause and just continues to spiral downwards as you realize that life is in fact not a shiny and sparkling dream the way Walt Disney lead you to believe it was. I still have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that Prince Charming doesnt exist and will never show up on his white horse for me.

A definite goal for 2008 is to match my home environment with my life - i.e. move out of the goddam frat house that we live in now and into something more grown-up, like a house in a quiet neighborhood. Im positive that once that is in place, once my home life matches the rest of my life, things will seem more balanced and on-track.