Heres the thing: Im too wimpy. Im too wimpy for any of this shit. For no good reason earlier this evening I reflected briefly on the various phases of heartache I have endured in the past... 6 or 7 years, and it wasnt pleasant. It was the most retarded thing ever: there I was, sitting at the BOG, doing homework with Kelly and Nathalie and out of nowhere it hit me that I am vulnerable, weak and lonely, wanting nothing more than to submerge myself in that familiar feeling of comfort, which inevitably ends in some sort of despair.
I wish optimism in this subject werent so fleeting for me. I wish the potential to revert back to depression wasnt lurking around every goddam corner. I wish I truly felt like I was going to find someone that wouldnt ultimately smash my heart into a million pieces. I wish I didnt want to give up.
I wish I hadnt written this
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