fucking Africa

Today I learned something very important about myself. I learned that when I get in a near argument with charity “volunteers”, it causes me to argue with myself the entire walk home.

In my defense! I was walking out of Nordstrom (which, I feel inclined to explain, and will, later) downtown across the street from Pioneer Square when I was approached by a dude with a clip board. So I thought, “oh yay, I havent had to tell OSPIRG that I don’t have time for them in a while” when I noticed that he wasn’t with OSPIRG and he also happened to be pretty attractive. So he approaches me and I let him, because I am slightly interested in what he’s hawking (anyone who spends a considerable amount of time walking around downtown should be a professional at avoiding any street vender/street (roots) kid/religious fanatic/all other persons trying to get your hard earned cash by basically just asking for it).
So I find out that he is with a Sally Struthers style charity. You know, the ones for feeding starving kids in third world countries. So I listen to his pitch, and hes making irrelavent analogies about how these kids are really poor, “not like the kind of poor, that we know of. You know, like that friend you have who has to couch surf, or cant eat fast food whenever he wants (as if this is a measure of “poor”, let alone comparable to any third world situation, insulting my intelligence and understanding already). You and I both have friends like that, but these kids don’t even have water.”
He is going on to explain to me the all of horrible things these poor kids have to endure and all I can do is wonder what fucking cave this guy thinks I just crawled out of that I don’t already know everything he is telling me. And I think he is catching onto the expression on my face because he says, “you’ve no doubt heard of charities like ours” and I say, “yeah, Sally Struthers” and he goes on and on. All the while becoming more and more intense with his guilt tactics and then he drops the ball completely by explaining that all I need to do is give him my credit card number and my monthly sponsorship will automatically be charged to it. So I ask him if their charity has a website I can check out and research before making any decisions, and he says that there, of course, is, BUT, “we need to get you involved TODAY! The situation is URGENT!” And he goes on to tell me that its only 18 dollars, and that’s only 60 cents a day “so that’s like, what you spend on candy, so its basically like going candiless and saving a childs life.”
So I laugh and tell him that I am no longer in the practice of buying candy everyday, and ask for the website again. He persists, going on and on as though the situation isnt clear to me. I tell him that I understand perfectly, but would just like to look into it a little further.
This is when we are joined by his coworker. At this point I am already feeling bombarded, and am already wanting out of this intense selling situation. He reiterates points that Intense Salesman #1 made at least three times and I assure them both that I grasp the situation, and I am interested, but that I am simply not handing out my credit card number to a kid on the street before doing a little research of my own. So Intense Salesman #2 tells me they have a four star rating with the Better Business Bureau and shows me a piece of paper that says “30 day money back guarantee” on it. They explain that I can give them my info now, then I have 30 days to research and if I change my mind, I can get my money back. I told him that he had a nice piece of paper (and am now loosing my patience) but that it doesn’t make giving him my credit card number a good idea. I ask for the website one more time and am showing him with my body language that I am going to walk away with or without it. He reluctantly tells me that its Children.org and I walk away baffled.
Now, I understand that these are most likely good guys, and they are probably really concerned about a serious issue that I agree needs attention. The point here is that their sales tactic (assuming they are paid commission based on the fact that they finally asked me to research online, but to come back and sign up with them anyway) was completely overwhelming and condescending, and it is completely absurd to expect people to hand over all of their personal information and credit card number to a stranger because they have a clip board and a picture of a little brown kid. The point is that I should not have to feel guilty about being smart with my information, and I certainly shouldn’t be teamed up on when Im not compromising my stand on what I decide to do with my information.
It is sad that you cant just trust people to be honest anymore, but it doesn’t change the fact that people should be expected to be smarter than that with their info, and the idea to ask for it on a street corner should never have been thought feasible by the charity in the first place.

So I walked away feeling torn about what had just happened. On one hand I felt like the worlds largest asshole for coming out of Nordstrom after spending an unreasonable amount of money on cosmetics for myself, and then being pissed that I was asked to help feed a starving child in Africa. And I argued and assured myself that that isnt the issue here. I understand that those guys are out in the rain, talking to people who don’t want to hear it, trying to be a part of a solution, trying to make a difference, and just wanting someone to give a fuck about starving kids in Africa, but that isnt the issue when you are also saying, “and I want to write your credit card number down on my clip board too” . Its just unreasonable anyway you look at it, as far as Im concerned.

Christ, this is the longest post ever.

So, yeah. Does everyone know what they are doing on Saturday?