I got my first ever speeding ticket on Saturday. IN THE MAIL. That’s cheating! You can’t just set up a van with a radar and a camera and then mail out tickets! I didn’t even get a chance to weasel my way out of it and the cop didn’t even have to do anything! I don’t think he was even in the van. This is an outrage.
In other news I am a moron and apparently cannot prepare a delicious bagel with salmon and cream cheese without cutting the holy shit out of my hand. Luckily the knife was in my right hand and I cut my left, however, hands are hands and it fucking sucks to slice one open. This also leads me to wonder - why the hell do I drive with my left hand? It would make sense if my car had a standard transmission, but it’s an automatic. Perhaps my subconscious sees driving as an opportunity for my right hand to have a little break.
Speaking of breaks, take a break from whatever it is you are doing and play in the sand. Click the box in the top left corner for instructions on how to use this awesome time waster.
More evidence that I am not smart to come...
2 comments:
I know why you drive with your left hand: because you can affect a gangster lean to your left and prop your arm up on the window sill of your car door while you're steering. I think all of us started doing that when we learned to drive and most of us have no plans to stop.
Word! An excellent observation, my friend.
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