Growing Up

ately I've been thinking about "growing up" and acting more "grown up". Recently I was involved in what was going to be a high drama event, and my initial reaction - in an effort to minimize my involvement - was to deny, deny, deny. Then I thought, "what is the big girl way to handle this?" And I realized the big girl thing to do is to admit everything as it happened to those that need to know, and to move on with my life. So, "yes, it happened. Im sorry if that upsets you. I will continue to live my life now." Maybe its selfish of me, but my conscience is clear and if people insist on creating drama in their lives, then I want very little to do with them anyway. Isnt there a point where people want to STOP living as though they are in high school?

Anyway. So that is kind of also where I would like to go with my life from now on. You know, being an adult. Not skirting responsibility for things - even if they are ridiculous or stupid. Owning my actions - that kind of thing. Im going to be thirty this year so I figure now is a good time to start.

It feels good already.


Unrelated(ish) - Ive been fawning over diamond rings lately. I used to just want the ring. Then I started wanting the ring and the wedding. Slowly I think I am wanting the ring, the wedding and the marriage. Who am I?

A girl in love, probably. ;)

Also, Ive been exposed to very long term, happy marriages for the first time in my life and, maybe for the first time ever, marriage as I would like to have it seems possible. Seamus's parents have been happily married for 30 years and we just helped his grandparents celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. 60 years! And they are still happy, wonderful human beings to be around. And when they look at each other, it doesnt seem like they would like nothing more than to murder the other with their bare hands. They seem like two people who have shared a life together who are still very much in love. Of course, 60 years is a long time and Im sure it wasnt always easy. But they have so many hilarious stories and a fascinating history - its easy to feel a little jealous of that connection, and to want it for myself.

But what girl doesnt want to live happily ever after?