On Camping

First, I would like to make one thing very clear: I am a city girl. I have always been a city girl. I grew up in Los Angeles and had almost no interaction with nature until I was in high school. Granted, my mom did take my brother and I to Venice beach quite often when we were kids, but I dont consider that particular beach to be "nature." We never went camping.

The problem with being a city girl in Portland is that everyone here LOVES camping. Its a huge part of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle. Hiking and camping. Camping and hiking. All summer. The reason this is a problem is because it isnt enough that they like camping, they want YOU to camp with them (and by you I mean me). Telling anyone from the Pacific Northwest that you dont like camping is like walking into a church and yelling "fuck god!" It is blasphemy.

Ok, so I used to like camping in high school. But that was probably because the only place teenage kids can really get their drink on is out in the woods. Now Im older, I can drink where ever the fuck I please and I enjoy the comforts of modern technology. I love indoor plumbing. I love my bed. I love electricity. I love cooking in a kitchen. Im proud to be able to provide these simple comforts in my life and I have no desire to go out and play homeless for a weekend.

So every spring, the camping fever starts setting in and plans are being made and people are asking "Chrissy, are you gonna camp with us this year?" knowing full well that I dont like camping. This is like constantly trying to set a gay friend up with people of the opposite sex after they have bravely come out of the closet. Its a strange sort of denial.

I dont know, perhaps if I approached the idea the way I did as a teen and just stayed wasted the whole time, it wouldnt be so bad... Still I cant imagine ever preferring sleeping on rocks outside over a nice bubble bath and a warm bed. Call me crazy!